Eternity Is Cold Alone
by Catullus16
Summary: After Josef is almost killed Mick must face his feelings for his best friend. LEMONS to come.


**Hey loverly readers, i know i have been neglecting my fanfic account so i posted this. It's meant to be longer, but can be seen as a one-shot as well...whatever ends up happening. im a pretty big fan of yaoi but have never written any, so here it is...nothing explicit quite yet, be patient.**

**Hope you all enjoy!**

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JOSEF

Mick stormed in the door and glared at me. I was in his living room with three freshies who were currently having a party.

"Party's over" he growled out and then looked to me trying to find some remorse for my actions, he found none. The girls pouted, but left; not before stopping to kiss me on the way out.

Mick started lecturing me about responsibility. He could see it wasn't getting through to me, because I was still thinking about missing a meal. "I realize you don't care about your own life, but can't you care about not getting me killed?" I looked at him finally.

I couldn't bear to look at him for but a moment for the worst expression of betrayal shown on his face. I could have just alerted whoever wanted me dead that I was in fact alive and staying with Mick. It's not like I wanted that to happen, I just wanted to stave off the gapping loneliness I felt when he wasn't around. "You know how I get lonely" I said and then added in my mind; without you.

He all but sneered at this remark and I could feel my heart breaking. I was always the carefree Josef who never let anything affect him; but in this moment I was the man who had betrayed his best friend's trust.

I could feel my eyes start to burn and it was all I could do not to cry. I was astounded; I hadn't cried in a century, leave it to Mick to break my mask of frivolity. I just wanted your attention Mick, that's it; not this fight. I hate it when we fight, though it seems we can't stop when we are around each other.

Mick started yelling again, but I couldn't hear him. I think I'm in shock; this is not like me at all. Mick had enough and stated "I'm going to bed" effectively ending the conversation.

He swung around to the bottom of the stairs and started taking them two at a time. "What about me?" I asked in a small voice. I can't believe I sound like that, my voice practically wavered. Why can't I be the asshole Josef with no worries? I started pacing; I wanted to leave but I had nowhere to go and I didn't really want to leave him…us, like that. I wanted to patch our relationship; I admit I wanted something more with him, but I was convinced I could live with just friendship.

My pacing wasn't helping, so I decided to follow Mick up the stairs. I tentatively entered his room, poking my head in before I entered. He was already asleep in his fridge, the light off. I could see that he had put on flannel long pants but left his shirt off. I sighed looking at him, wanting to hug his body close to mine, kiss his neck and run my fingers through his hair.

I held my breath; a nervous habit left from my human days, and opened his slab bed. He stayed asleep, that's a first…usually as soon as I open the lid he jumps up and starts yelling at me for waking him up. I looked around his room and debated, do I get in with him or sleep on the couch downstairs.

I didn't want to risk the sun; and if I admitted it to myself, I wanted to sleep with him. I rummaged through his drawers and found another pair of flannel pants. I slipped them on, wanting the soft touch to be his fingers and not his pants, but this would have to do. They were a little big on me so I tied the drawstring tightly and climbed into bed with him.

I would just have to be sure I woke up before he did so I could leave without a trace. I pulled the lid shut and lay down on my side facing away from him. There was barely enough room for us both but I wasn't quite sure if I was brave enough to cuddle with him. I didn't have to ponder long because a hand snaked over my side and pulled me back against his broad chest.

I know I blushed, at least he couldn't see. I liked the weight of his arm around my bare waist, I felt safe and like I could just be myself. No need to put on a mask, no need to pretend. I sighed and wriggled around so that I was facing his chest.

I looked up at his face and saw that he was still asleep. It hurt to know that this hug wasn't conscious, but at least it wasn't fantasy anymore. I felt my eyes prickle again; you're getting soft Josef. I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed deeply. It was pure Mick. I drifted off, content for the first time since I had laid eyes on him 80 years ago.

MICK

I could hear music coming from my apartment, the door was cracked. I had a moment of panic, what if the killer was already there and using the music to cover up the gruesome things he was doing to Josef. Oh god, don't be that, anything but that.

I pushed open my door ready for a fight, but instead saw freshies dancing in my house. My first reaction was one of relief and then I felt anger pumping through my blood. How dare he invite some two bit prostitutes into my house.

"Party's over" I managed to not yell. The girls looked scared, and rightly for I was about to walk over to Josef and strangle him for being so thoughtless. There was a killer on the loose and Josef was supposed to be dead. I started ranting at him not wanting to admit that the real reason I was mad was because I was afraid for him…I cared for him, deeply.

I could see that he wasn't paying attention; we always had different morals, so I tried a different tactic. "I realize you don't care about your own life, but can't you care about not getting me killed?" I hoped he would say he cared for me too, but I didn't expect anything…I learned not to after almost a century.

He looked startled at what I said and he looked me in the eyes. I was so mad at him that I almost missed the fact that his eyes were red and he was on the brink of tears. I softened a little, especially when he said "You know how I get lonely" with the cutest look on his face, as if he was trying to tell me something more with his eyes.

I could feel the blood I had just drank go straight to my groin. That made me angrier; I shouldn't have feelings for my best friend. I should find myself a nice vamp wife to settle down with and wait for eternity to end. I couldn't help it but I was so angry with myself that I started yelling again. I saw his face and couldn't take what he was doing to me anymore, both to my heart and to my body.

"I'm going to bed" I stated suddenly, wanting to leave before he noticed my hard on and before I made a fool of myself. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard him whisper "what about me?" I didn't answer.

I didn't know the answer, I could tell him to sleep on the couch, but that would be cold and I didn't think he would go for sleeping with me. I discarded my clothes and pulled on my favorite drawstring pants, maybe they would give me some clarity. I climbed into my bed and pulled the lid shut wanting to block everything out, willing my erection to go away.

I closed my eyes and drifted asleep, to all intents and purposes I was fully relaxed again.

I heard creaking coming from my doorway, hoping it was Josef I stayed silent waiting for him to make the first move. He tiptoed over to my fridge and gently lifted the lid, I kept my eyes closed and my face expressionless. I could smell that it was him so I wasn't worried.

He was rummaging through something for a while and then I felt him gingerly slip into bed with me. He stayed as far away from as he could; not far considering we were in a chilled box. I couldn't resist him; he was so close. I reached over and pulled him flush against me. I could feel his skin warm up and knew he would be blushing a deep shade of crimson. I smiled to myself; maybe he did like me after all.

Suddenly he rolled over, that was unexpected. I wanted him to think I was asleep, I don't think he's ready to have that kind of relationship yet. He snuggled deeper into my chest and put his nose in the crook of my neck. I think that's the cutest thing anyone has ever done, I wanted it to last forever.

I could feel my erection stirring again, but with sheer will power I managed to keep it from fully forming; that's not what he needs right now. It took me a while with him curled against me like that, but I managed to fall asleep.

I awoke as soon as the sun had set and was disoriented for a second; there was someone else in my fridge. It suddenly came rushing back and I smiled, Josef was still asleep so there was still time.

I looked at him curled up against my chest and smiled, we fit together so perfectly and I loved the feel of another person in bed with me. I wanted all my nights to start this bright.

I leaned down and kissed the top of his head, considering getting up. No I want to be here when he wakes up. Absently I stroked his back feeling at peace with myself when he started to stir.

"Mick?" he said groggily bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. "Yeah, I'm here" I said softly not wanting to scare him. He smiled and said "I had hoped it wasn't a dream."

I could tell he was still half asleep because once he started to move more he said "Mick?" again this time with a sharp tone. "What…?" he questioned and sat up, opening the lid. "You came in last night and I wasn't protesting…" I replied trying to tell him that I wanted him here, not just safe with a friend, but as a lover.

He looked around confused and I could tell he was about to blow off the whole night with a simple but very Josef statement. So I did the only thing I could think of to remedy the situation. I pulled him back down to me and crashed our lips together.

He made a muffled noise of protest and then sighed into my mouth. His lips were smooth and firm, holding their shape against mine. I waited excruciating seconds hoping he would respond to me while our lips remained together in a somewhat chaste kiss. Then it was as if a light turned on and he opened his mouth to kiss me back. I slipped my tongue past his lips exploring all I could reach. The taste of him was amazing, just as I imagined, but all the better for it was really happening.

Keeping our lips sealed together I pulled him closer with a hand around the back of his neck and the other tugging the waistband of my pants around his hips. He groaned as my cold hand brushed his stomach above the waistband. I smiled into our kiss and spread my hand out where it was so that I was touching the bare skin to his belly button. I stroked his happy trail and moaned anticipating my mouth following the same route to my personal heaven. My erection was brushing against his thigh and I could feel his stirring under my ministrations. I didn't want this to happen yet, both of us weren't ready. I pulled our lips apart and instead buried my face in his neck. I hugged him around the waist and breathed deeply, holding us in the moment. "Mick…I" I shook my head against him and pulled away. "Not yet, Josef, not yet" if he heard the pain in my voice as I said this, he didn't acknowledge it.

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**Thanks for reading! I know i left it at a rather depressing point, sorry bout that but it just fit somehow.**


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